Thoughts on Prop. 8/Gay Marriage ruling

I could just write a screed here against Judge Walker and all the things he did wrong today, but in the end, it would just be a stupid post that wouldn’t convince anyone of anything. Those who agree with me would agree and those who don’t, who see the world entirely differently, wouldn’t agree and there would be little point of trying to convince them.

I’ve also given up hope in trying to explain in a forum like this how to see the world through the lens that an understanding Catholic does. People have such strong opinions and won’t spend the time to challenge their preconceptions, not even to change their mind, but even to appreciate seeing the world in a very different way. Again, it wouldn’t accomplish anything.

So what I hope to do in this post is make an admission: We’ve lost the battle.

It’s not the gay marriage battle we’ve lost. That’s just the tail of the dog. What we’ve lost is the argument of what sex is about. We lost it 50 years ago when contraception became socially accepted and the implications of that loss continues to haunt us. Most people who embraced contraception didn’t realize what they were really embracing and so many of them to this day do not realize why others, who have embraced the fullness of what contraception means, are pushing for things they find reprehensible.

But in the end, I can’t argue against gay marriage without going back to the fundamentals: Sex is about procreation. Any sexual act that is not open to procreation resulting, is a disordered sexual act. There’s a ton of objections that will be raised at this point and there’s no way I can address them all in a post or two. But that’s kinda the point. We’re SOOOOO far past arguing about this fundamental premise about the nature of sex, that one can’t even advance the point, even with people who otherwise embrace a Christian worldview, without thousands of words defending the premise.

So I’m writing today not to those who are all for gay marriage. I’m writing today to those who are baffled and upset by the decision, yet embrace contraception. And here’s what I have to say to you:

The battle was lost when you embraced contraception. Once you separated procreation from the sexual act, then obviously, sex not oriented towards procreation was acceptable. Once that sort of sex was acceptable, it was just a matter of time until alternate ways to indulge yourself sexually, from homosexual acts to masturbation, were the next logical step. Once that was acceptable, the lifelong sexual union (aka marriage) was going to be opened to those who had found other ways to sexually gratify themselves.

Sure, it took 50 years for it to happen, but it nevertheless did happen.

So, while I see the world through a very different lens, one where sex is bound to procreation, the reality is that over 90% of my fellow citizens disagree. And since the underpinnings of my argument rest on sex bound to procreation, I can not deny that only 10%, if that, of American citizens embrace the underpinnings of marriage being between a man and a woman. I can not deny that in the way the vast majority of Americans view the world, the gay marriage proponents are right, that in the way society views the world, their unions are not that different from everyone elses.

I refuse to buy into that view, so I will continue to fight against not just gay marriage, but against the idea that procreation and sex can be separated. Whenever that battle is won, we won’t need to fight against “gay marriage”, because “gay marriage” just won’t make any sense, it’ll be as obvious as it was in 1950, when someone who suggested “there’s no tie between marriage and procreation” would be laughed out of court, out of office and out of about any social group. It was as obvious as night and day.

Today it apparently is not so obvious and there’s only one reason: the prevalence of contraception. So I say to all of you who reject gay marriage and wonder how we got here yet embrace contraception: It’s time for you to look in the mirror.

5 Responses to “Thoughts on Prop. 8/Gay Marriage ruling”

  1. saltracer Says:

    I’m with you: I blame contraception.

  2. kerath25 Says:

    There will come a day when the madness of this age will be known. Although we will likely not live to see that great and terrible day, we may take comfort in this: the Catholic Church will still be there.

    Thank you for your posts, and for your promise to continue to fight the good fight. May the Lord strengthen you and all those who seek to do His will.

  3. Rick Crawford Says:


    First of all, if you don’t want people like me to post on this blog, don’t put the link on your football site.

    So about your post…

    I suggest that you have lost nothing with the Prop 8 ruling. You still have your faith, and that is a very significant asset in modern society. Your beliefs and faith provide direction and purpose in a world that is overcome with incoherent messages that drown out discourse. You are able to think critically at a time when an overgrown media has trivialized every meaningful issue.

    The Prop 8 ruling is about a secular activity that is mislabeled as “marriage”. It should be called a “domestic LLC”. It’s about all things legal and nothing spiritual. Civil marriage will never impact those blessed with spirit.

    The Catholic church still has its theology and can still marry people in the way it sees fit. As a member of the Church, you have lost nothing. I suggest you should be thankful for what you do have.

    There is no fight to win or lose here.

  4. Ken Crawford Says:

    Rick, you’re always welcome here…

    You’re probably right that I personally have lost nothing, but I do think society has lost something. I’ve always rejected the idea that “we can’t legislate morality”, in fact I would go further to say that the law shapes morality. So to me it is important that our laws encourage people in the right directions.

    What I think is the key take away for all, and this is true on both sides of most issues we fight over in America (with a few notable exceptions), is that the profound and all encompassing freedom we have in this country allows us all to live our lives the way we want should remind us to not have setbacks be so disastrous in our minds. The reality is that no matter what happens here, all gay people can continue to live their lives the way they want, with our without the “domestic LLC”, and so can I.

    On the lighter side, if we’re going to rename it, having seen what divorce can do financially, shouldn’t it be a Maximum Liability Corporation? :)

  5. Rick Crawford Says:


    I agree that we do legislate morality. Every law is about a value judgment. Why is murder a crime — because we think it is wrong.

    Some judgments are more universal than others. I believe that incest is taboo in every culture. Attitudes about contraception vary by culture, religion, technology and era. Both issues are about appropriate sex.

    The essense of society is the reconciliation of competing interests. Individuals give up some freedoms to get the benefits of a colective. Because of this, as humans, we are destined to differ about what is moral and what is not. And yes, these issues are often decided by government.